At present, I am a full time mum to Evie, and work full time in an accounts role. Some days are harder then others. Washing never gets done on time, the garbage bin gets forgotten to be taken out... Hell I go weeks without shaving my legs simply because I forgot or I have a 5 minute window to have a shower without Evie watching laughing at my boobs or my bum. Or pointing, or picking up my bra and putting it on. Most days are a blur, alarm goes off, I go get Evie, get dressed, make her lunch and I go off to work. By the time I get home it's dark, and Evie is hungry and emotional for some reason or another. And then it's a constant battle for her to eat her dinner, have a bath and willingly go to bed. I generally eat dinner about 8pm, potter around, try and get some things done and the next thing I know it's 11pm! Tired is a regular occurrence, and so is some frustration because there are not enough hours in the day to even attempt getting everything done. Did I mention I've also taken on part time study? Saturdays are taken up by ballet and swimming so that leaves Sunday to spend time together, so the weekly shop, wash, clean, bake, cool for the week ahead. Some days when I get everything done it's like a fist pump, totes excited and can't believe it and it makes me happy. This doesn't happen often but when it does, it's a pretty good feeling. I take my hat off to any working mother, with one child or many, it's a hard bloody job, but I know it's all worth it in the end. You just have to remember that, and roll with the good days and the bad. A few months ago, after a long battle with illness, I lost my beloved mother in law, some mother in laws are dreadful but mine wasn't, we didn't always agree when it came to the way we parent but I always took your advice and always came to you first.
Col, this is for you. Thank you for showing me what the meaning of family was. For welcoming me into your home, your life, your family, your heart. You put everyone before your own needs, and treated everyone with love, respect and always made everyone feel welcome. I am completely blown away by the love you have shown me, and our family, the nights you sat with me at the hospital when Evie wasn't well, for the hours you sat by her crib when she was in nicu, for knitting her a tiny beanie when nothing else fit so she had something of her own while we were waiting to bring her home. Thank you for being the best grand mother to my beautiful daughter, niece and nephews. Thank you for teaching me how to make your amazing rum balls, for always believing in me and awlays reminding me that I'm doing a good job with raising Evie. We miss you so much, and love you more. If any of us can be half the person you are, well, that would have been to have succeeded. you. you alone will have the stars as no one else has them x Two. Terrible two's? Everything I have read and every piece of advice I have been offered are different and do not make sense. Some days Evie can be brilliant, and I think wow, I have really lucked out in the toddler years... but come the next morning and it's like my little two year old has turned 16 over night and is majoring in drama. Where the hell did she get this from? From telling me to "go away" to slamming doors and dropping her bundle because I didn't buy something she liked or her favourite show ended before she was ready. I get embarrassed easily, so when Evie is not behaving when we are out and pretending like her legs don't work and I'm dragging her along the ground and I want to burst into tears and then look around I have half a dozen nosy sods starring at me wondering what my next move is and how much of a scene I will make, I look at them, smile and think about how terrible it is for them to judge other people when I can bet they have gone through this themselves many years ago.. when I see a mother in the same situation, I smile, so that she knows that I know what it is like and you have to do what you can do to survive. Everyday brings a different lesson, frustration and stress. No book or person can tell you what it's going to be like, or what to do to fix it, you have to go with the flow, and remember its not forever.
x never touch anything with half of your heart, be present, endlessly loving, and compassionate towards others, confront any challenging situation first with a deep breath, wander, remember that your own happiness and comfort comes above all things, before reacting - understand, eat breakfast every morning, find the faces in the flowers, remember what is important to you, treat your body kindly, be honest, get to know yourself, take things at your own pace, don't feel embarrassed to feel, laugh, cry, sing or love, remember that what's right for someone else might not be right for you (and that's ok), never be ashamed or afraid to ask for help, do what you love, remember that you always have a choice, find joy in what life really is - living.
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